The fears I don't think about

Moving has been a trial. I am still grieving from it.
I think I've said this a lot.
More than anything, though,
it has brought a lot of old beliefs, uncertainties and private fears to the surface.
Like a rash, they have become exposed to others.
People see it itch...they see me scratch...that makes it worse.
I sometimes try to cover the rash with sleeves...I still scratch through the cloth.

So. I went to some of my favorite people.
The people who's lives and stories I dream of emulating.
And I reached one prayer suggested by Mother Teresa.
And while I don't know how possible it will be for me
I want to know it regularly.
And when I'm ready, I think I will understand
That it's actually God that will take action..al I have to do is ask.

Deliver me, O God,
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire to being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
From the desire of being popular,
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being suspected.
Amen.

That's all I'm asking for today.