Hard to relax when your holding the handles tightly

I finally gave myself a day to breathe
Luna's with her Dad preparing for the wedding
and I'm alone at home
So, I headed to the mall..had things to return

LOL....the mall was 30 minutes northwest on route 17
I drove 20 minutes southwest on 280...
got about 5 minutes away from the University
before I realized that I had been so distracted that
I had driven to the office instead of the mall


It's amazing how difficult relaxation can be after so much strain

I will NEVER forget my first time at Disney. I was 9...and loving it...
The "It's a small world" ride kinda creeped me out...but the rest was a blast
But the moment I remember the most was my 90 seconds ride on Space Mountain
I remember being shoved into this seat on a "rocket"
I remember it taking off into a dark tunnel...hearing the whizzing and screaming
there were these little metal grasps on the inside of my seat
I grabbed on to those with all my 9 year-old strength...
really believing that if we flipped over, my little hands would save my body from flying
When the ride came to a halt, I could barely get up
they were seriously cramped into a wad
there was no relaxing...my heart was thumping and my hands hurt

That's how I feel today
time to myself, and yet I'm not able to relax...my heart's in a grip
I'm gripping tightly to reality...
the reality of all the responsibility that's waiting again for me on Monday
the reality of a messy house, laundry to be done, homework not finished, bills unpaid

It's all still there...
Oh...and BTW...I hate the mall...

I think it's time to get outside of myself for a while.