Aoughhhhhhhghghww.....

That's the sound of my body.
owwwwwughmmoohhh
I knew I wasn't feeling well
But then I stopped moving
and now I really know the truth
I'm soooo not feeling well.

My neck is achy and sweaty
my eyes feel like they're steaming
My fingers are cold as ice
There's this crackling sound in my ears

And....
I've got cramps
I'm cranky as hell
Don't wanna see another human being for the next two days
I'm like a lion over here on this end of the couch
I can't stand to even sit here with myself
You know it's bad (as Pink says) when you annoy yourself
Except I'm not just annoying myself
I want to get a divorce from myself
Everything...I mean E--v--ery thing is like a tweezer on a nerve

And....that feeling...that I wish I were totally alone
But if I were alone, I'd be angry that no one was here
That..."come here...go away" feeling
Poor Luna...she's the only one in this house
Wondering why Mom turns into an immovable monster...lol
I'd be fine taking care of myself...or not taking care of myself
But to take care of someone else, when I'm like this...oh no

Oh...ugh...why does this happen?
I really really....don't like it....
And yet...I go back to that image of Lioness Teresa
In my cave instead of the couch
Protecting my boundaries...and my belly
and then...I guess it makes some sense
Maybe then I can understand this incredible CRAZiness!

Tonight.....
Keeping my laptop close and warm on my belly
A blanket to hide in...box of tissues
The TV remote by my cold fingers
and my little girl...as long as she stays in the house...
can have a night to do whatever she wants :)