All that a Starbucks card can hold...

I lost my wallet a couple of weeks ago.
Went everywhere and back, twice...three times..
Tore every corner, bag, chair, car...
Couldn't find it.

Fortunately, I had my debit card with me
everything else:
-my Gap credit card...the only card I ever pay off (cause I never use it..lol)
-my brand new Driver's License...literally got it 2 days before
-a Macy's gift card with $100...that bites
-some business cards
-and some change

It sucked...but it seems like a sucky event has become a weekly ritual for me
A reflection of how much I carry...how fast I move...how tired I am
I was willing to deal with it....

and then..........................................

I walk into Starbucks today
have another paper to write...boo..
heading toward the line..when I realize that
my Startbucks (RED) card....it was in the wallet!!!!!!
Lost...
The tears literally bubbled up

Mind you....this is not a credit card...just a gift card
it had $0 balance...so it can't be used...
easily replaced at the register with another gift card, right

No.....................

This was MY Starbucks (RED) gift card
that I have used since Nashville
that ordered my Caramel Macchiattos
and waited patiently in my pocket for a financial upturn...to be used
that sat with me as I took my first steps toward "real" writing
that bought the coffee...which I drank...while writing my applications...
applications which got me in to grad school...which brought me here..
that card that hoped....with me...for Holly to walk in the door
that shared the love of Jolan...and Elizabeth...V...wow...and Em
and Jenifer...after the $200 dollar meeting...lol
oh wow...that bought the coffee...that kept me sober...
OMG...yes...how could I forget?...it bought the coffee cups
that first kept me sober...now I really want to cry
the card that listened to so many interesting conversations
with random strangers...who became friends
used in Nashville Starbucks...
Bellevue, Westmeade, Brentwood, Green Hills, Vandy
Flew to Puerto Rico...that made me happy...as I sent the pic to Holly
the new coffee...here...in NJ...Seton Hall, Clifton, Summit, Bernardsville
and....that gives 10 cents of every coffee to Africa


All of that....
in one red little card...
with a white Baobob Tree
and it feels like I lost a friend

<----- yep...that's it there


Why I get so sad over these things....
I just do
All the other stuff in that lost wallet seems like dribble
I just want my card back...

So I walk to the register...I tell myself I have to let go...
I'll grab a new RED card...and new start...
I've been meaning to grow away from those other memories anyway
this is just an opportunity
but nothing...at the register...no RED cards...
not one...they no longer make them

How a card can be a friend....I just don't know

I feel guilty...that people lose hard things...
and me...I'm sorry...I grieve over a card in my pocket.
Sure feels like a loss, though....