The church walk-through

Having a minister for a parent.....
ugh..I don't even know how to finish that sentence.
Always always exposed. 
Very little privacy.
Having to entertain people you don't want to see
and  everyone wants to know about you.

If you haven't been to church for a while
or in this case...haven't been there at all,
I am strongly suggesting you go in with the flu
or some other contagious disease
If not, you will be slobbered on by every old lady
and you will probably end up walking out with some disease anyway

The moment you walk in, all eyes and whispers are redirected
that's why I like to sneak through the back.
then anyone that wants to give you a look or elbow their neighbor,
they will have to turn all the way around and it will be really obvious


everyone insists on asking you where you have been
and you must give some concrete response...and it better be a good one
How's school?...fantastic...
What are you studying?...religion...
Do you have a boyfriend?...no, I'm a minister's daughter and will single and celibate for ever.

Open house is always interesting.
People love to see how the pastor "really" lives
they disappear up the steps and check out your room

I'm not kidding...I know it sounds cliche
nosy old church ladies and minister's kids
but it is 100% true
you feel completely exposed and the exposure could come without warning

I'm 32 years old....no longer consider myself solely Christian
I never go to either of my Dad's two churches
and yet I have not escaped the pastoral spotlight

Today is the Charge Conference
The District superintendent comes to the church
they talk business...as a church
and THEN they walk through the house
Walk through the house!!
Ugh....my house on display
walking through inspecting my home

I almost feel like being a smart ass about it
leave my vibrator out right on the bed
hang some thongs from the shower rod
bang out some loud music as they walk in
lol....now that would totally be something to wait for
unfortunately I'm just not that brave

No...instead I will wait here in my home
my home that I just scrubbed clean
waiting, handcuffed to my couch with some church clothes on
yep...just wait for them to come through

Now...the good thing about being a minister's kid
Got a problem....???
you have a thousand prayers going for you at the same time