Fireflies in my heart

My friend, Terri has been mentioning this light inside...

questioning it...looking at it....I can certainly relate.
until recently, my light inside was more like a firefly...
it would light up and I'd get all excited.....
but when I'd cup my hands to catch it....
.......zooom......light out and flown away..
and then I'd wait a bit...and...
.......zoom.........firefly back...
little light shining but clear across the field now...
time to go catch it again...or try.
and then one day...
I guess I just managed to catch it..
and I trapped it in my heart
and it flies around in there...
sometimes lit..sometimes not..but it's in there.
I like that feeling...

BUT...what I was thinking...and thinking..and thinking..is that..my inside light is there..somewhere...but it's my "outside" light that has a blown fuse. Since I've moved..it only flickers!! and I don't like that...I'm not shining the way I did...or something....I, too, am questioning...and well...I don't know. Hey...you know those glow sticks?..that you have to put them up to the light for a long time..so that they glow in the dark?? But it only last so long...and I guess maybe I don't have enough lightbulbs around to get close to.